Mothers are not legally responsible for their adult child’s poor choices, which affect their sound future. However, this burden is much heavier than the earlier ones. For example, in his young years you had to discipline him for misbehaviour. You are not aware whether the punishment effect had last for long or not but at least you were right in showing him the correct way.
Now, there is no legal liability but you may feel the burden of social and emotional accountability for your adult child.
Some parents –
- Shout angrily
- Get entrapped in accepting the blame, which their adult child places on them
- Bled dry by fulfilling the financial demands of their children who is often experiencing legal trouble
- Believe they made some errors in the child’s upbringing otherwise this drug issue will not have caused havoc in their adult child’s life.
Two necessary truths to keep in mind
No one is perfect. As parents, mistakes are made. This does not mean you are a bad mom. However, better job could have been done while raising the kid. Now, the child is grown, nothing can be redone or undone.
Adult child has the power needed to make wise decisions. In addition, they have no right to blame their parents. Adulthood means adult needs to take their own responsibility and make own decisions. Majority of behaviours are choices – Honesty or deceit? Fighting or loving? Working or slacking?
How to handle adult child’s addiction?
Emphasize it is their choice, which led them in current circumstances. Interventions are effective, when the adult child is made aware of how their bad behaviour impacts every family member and their social circle. Intervention is family’s first step towards recovery.
Wise parental funding decision
Never give cash, which will fuel the child’s bad behaviour. Offer financial help you can afford to in rerouting the child towards better life. You may feel guilty that you are not giving him/her funds for groceries because you fear they would spend it on illegal drugs. In such case, purchase foodstuff rather than giving cash.
Offer help to find rehab services
Help your adult child struggling with drug addiction find Christian addiction treatment centre. However, if they refuse to get enrolled in a rehab program don’t blame yourself. No one can help a person, until he is ready to change. You cannot do anything to make that change really happen.
Love but hold him/her responsible
Parents cannot stop loving their child, even if they behave badly. However, remember loving under such circumstances does not mean enabling him or her to dismantle the family. It means holding him/her responsible for the bad behaviour and tearing family apart.
Protect other family members
‘Rock bottom’ is not regarded as starting point for changing a substance abusers life. Moreover, your family is not needed to hit ‘rock bottom’ prior getting stronger. Protect your other family members and yourself.
As a parent the role of responsibilities towards their child never ends, even when they grow up. Remember, mom’s duty shifts as child matures. Don’t hold yourself responsible for adult child’s poor choices. Love yourself and accept your limits to avoid stress in this condition.